Script (Edited Version)
Jon Madden
Scene 1 Act 1
Jon Madden: I'm Jon Madden and I like ponies with huge eyelashes!

Scene 1 Act 2
Jon Madden: To the Braves! 20! 30! 70! Ponies! GOOOOOOAAAALLL Tom Flup!
Rick James: What the...?

Scene 1 Act 3
Rick James: I'm Rick James! Show me those footballs! You call those footballs? I call them golf balls!

Scene 1 Act 4
Jon Madden: I drank that shampane last night so fast like

Star Wars
Scene 2 Act 1
Darth Vader: (breathing) Luke, I am your father.
Luke: Nooooooooo!!!!
Darth Vader: Yea. That is pretty screwed up.
Luke: Yeeessss!
Darth Vader: But Java Hut is your mom.

Scene 2 Act 2
Darth Vader: You wanna' go?
Clone 1: Sure, where?
Darth Vader: The Death Star.